error: insufficent emo for posting

the fact of the matter is, i don't like hating my life. lots of things make me smile and laugh. i enjoy lots of different activities. i go out of my way to do and experience things that make me happy.

the other fact of the matter is that i hate my job with the burning fire of a thousand molten suns, i dread the thought of going every day, and i am counting the days until i leave. (77, counting today, fyi)

so really, it's just me and the waiting game. counting over and over and over, singing the same songs over and over and over. being bored until the end of time. living life on the offcount, and really, just killing time, which is really too bad, as it's never done anything particularly bad to me. i'm going to take up running and weight lifting. maybe look into ignoring that nasty std thing long enough to drop the vcard. go on some hikes, write some shitty stories, some shitty music. read everything i can get my hands on.

one of these days, it will feel like this is in fact life, now, living, happening to me and with me, no longer sitting on the sidelines waiting my turn.