keep it simple, now

it's almost exactly a year now
and it's still as secret as it ever was
not that i didn't think i could do it
but somehow i expect that being attached at the soul means telepathic too
but we're not, so they still don't know

this satisfies me


as for it being a year
i am proud
that i made it
that i didn't fall
that i'm happier now than i was then
that i didn't fuck up too bad
that i'm going somewhere (whether it's a place i want to end up or not is another story)

and i've got plans
dozens of them
and a keyboard waiting for me to have a free hour or million
and some brightly coloured yarn and some doubly pointy sticks to turn dreams into warm cozies for my wrists.
i've got my eye on a guitar or five that i might actually be able to afford so as to get that dream up in the air too
i've got plans (they're multiplying)

and while i've got precious little time to take up these dreams and live them till they're real, i am nearly 100% positive that the being busy as a side effect of doing things and going places is what has helped me to escape the part where i wanted to sleep and never wake up. so we're counting that one as a win.