breath it out now

it gets easier. forgetting for hours at a time, distracted by the minutae of day to day living. eating cupcakes, talking to friends, saying stupid shit, spending money on things i don't need. it all helps to pass the time.

then i remember.

i also discover than i am, as previously discovered, still shit at recognizing a hand that is reaching out. maybe it isn't so surprising that i am found wanting.

i wouldn't be enough for me either.