lighter than air

i like the idea of it
of sending out messages in cracked bottles with rotting corks
doomed to reach no one
privacy in a public forum
anyone can read this
but no one who matters
will know it's me

the one they laugh with
the one they lie with
the one they dream with
the one they eat with
the one they work with

i am hidden behind a pale green layout
(not so typically me)
behind a computer screen
behind a keyboard
behind my hopes and fears
behind my fear of intimacy
my fear of being known

i like the idea
of saying terrible things (i for one can see no blood)
hopeless things (hearts and wrists intact [you allegedly slit])
and no one can respond (sitting in a honeymoon)
enforced silence (if i woke up next to you)
the helpless ghost audience

ghost, because i'll never know if there is one or not
not that it would matter.
you still don't know me.

this is a confetti-filled balloon, meaning nothing, and even less likely to be seen anyway.

it's for the best.