on the eocassion of our anniversary

it's a bit premature, but just let me say it

i've made it a year
one more down, a few more to go
another year older and not a bit wiser
counting down till it all just stops

not looking forward, only ever down
keeping it going, don't stop now
if i can't see where i'm going
and i can't see where i've been
i'm better off this way
more numb at least

it felt like something was supposed to change
like something was supposed to grow
like it was all magically supposed to be better
somehow
someway
like magic or wishes
but it doesn't work like that

so i've made it another year (or just about)
and i'm holding my breath for the big surprise
or something that's close enough
i'll just keep believing in lies and pretty stories
and maybe it will end up being true
maybe it does get better next year